“Get our of your minds, guys, and wake up.”
“I’m triggered.”
“Target that explosion and fire.”
A – “What’s a butt-load?” / B – “25% more than a shit-tonne.”
“Do you feel lucky, punk?”
“You’re on the menu, not us.”
“Chris put a lot of effort into that name [Tundar-ka]. We must respect him.”
[NASAL] "Methane Storm..."
“You’re a methane storm.”
“I’m a Duergar Enforcer. I’m 7th Level.”
“Shoot it [intellect devourer] with your phaser.”
“The sickly sweet sweat of Tundar-ka, pushing himself out of a wall of mouldy flesh.”
“The real dungeon is the friends we made along the way.”
“Friends, together! Push back the darkness!”
“I don’t even know where the whicker rat came from?”
“Sacrifice a virgin. Just like Basile would have wanted.”
“’Ants’ like insects, or ‘Ents’ like treants?”
“There’s lying and there’s lying twice.”
“Gonna’ keep that one [thought] in the Tickle Trunk.”
“First, we engage in a traditional Imperyion hugging contest.”
“It is not a tubour.”
“What commands from the all-seeing [rat] eye, my Lord?”
"Child labour!"
"We basically mader a Dallek."
"You should see her in a crown."
"Every time I hear 'Dori the Kenori', the Dora the Explorer song plays in my head..."
"That's a Life Day miracle, right there."
"Split the party, Happy Life Day."
"I look for waist deep water."
"Moist. Scuttling. Petals."
"In the right light, he's pretty cute."
A - "You just destroyed a Christmas tree!" // B - "It was artifical anyway."
"Take that, story!"
"I didn't consent to that."
"Just stop with the Wookie porn."
"Yes, there should only be one per timeline."
"Everyone has to make a blindness check... Canadian fish belly!"
"Got some uppity players. Oh, I know... Cthulhu!"
"I call EAP {Employee Assistance Program]"
"I don't trust the darkness."
"...and I'd like to have a coffee in about two hours."
"My strength is ungodly high. My strength is 34 right now."
"Why did you go on a sidequest!?"
"You're not the worst thing I've seen today."
"They're showing you their boom sticks."
A - "My story does involve a 'stoo' sample" // B - "Fact of life in your fifties."
"There's no problem anywhere in the world that can't be solved with bombs."
"Things get less complicated after bombs."
"...it's almost as great as hugging me."
"Debarkinator™ - don't look at this while applying it. Or breathe."
"Like my Dad with the old TV. Kick it until it works."
"That's why I study English. To know how many times to kick something."
"Would you rather cross dress, or be the Dominatrix?"
"There goes another set of fingerprints..."
"Brendon is rolling around the ground, elling, 'My eyes! My eyes!'"
"Oddly specific."
"Well, that seems like a Bad Thing."
"Study sounds sucky."
"I'm glad you could reverse your position on genocide."
"Yes, the tumour has an English accent."
"Would you rather get hit once, or twice?"
"Nature is the enemy. Let nature respond."
"The gods do love reckless idiots."
"Would you rather be a tree in the forest, or a forest for the trees?"
"Space farts."
"You're not wrong... "space toilet" sounds better than "toilet."
"A belch of fear"
A: "It's a distance of 100 mi. That's pretty long." // B: "Not in space, it's not."
"Maybe he's a big dick. Just likes killing space whales."
"We're not supposed to talk about space whales."
"I'm not an astrocetacean biologist."
Entering the Elemental Nebula: "We close the windows."
"We rub the lotion on the ship..."
"He's the god of darkness and fear, not tickles and hugs."
"The Universe is where I keep my stuff."
A - "What do you do?" // B - "We look for a Goat-Boy to save."
"Junior High School Teacher, Engaged!"
"Never tell me the odds."
"His option is to become green goo."
"Halifax. Come for the Internet. Stay for the rain."
"This is our Mental Health Centre."
"It was so col, it was shattering windows."
"Stooges sounds a lot like 'stoo'."
"Is the creature inside the comet, or is the comet the creature?"
"Remember 'salt' is sodium chloride."
"Is it the dreaded otyugh?"
"Thank you, Christmas!"
"I tried to destroy him, but he would not be destroyed."
"I do German counseling."
“That got dark, fast...”
“Plot armour enabled.”
“I sell goo and other forms of goo.”
“It’s the poor imagination.”
A - “Our science and magic marry…” // B- “In an unholy mixture!”
“Now that it’s homebrew, we can use it too!”
Gmail interface is an abomination against man and god.”
A – “Dick Hero Points?” // B - “That’s a whole new line of resources.”
A - “I’ll use my dick hero point to put ourselves out of harm’s way.” // B – “That’s the circle of life.” // C – “Appropirately gaoined. Appropriately used.”
“I fly cast dinner power” (“I cast divine power.”)
“We’ll put them back in the brig, then we’ll deal with the space penguins with long legs.” (is a sentence in the English language)
“That old chestnut!”
“Now we trip over this nest of baby orcs.”
A – “My hands are up in the air, ‘Friends, friends,’ and then I dick-punch him.” // B – “You just won Dungeons and Dragons!”
“They are honourable, but they also like to shoot things.”
“A firm slap on the wrist.”
"The Universe is where I keep my stuff."
A - "What do you do?" // B - "We look for a Goat-Boy to save."
"Junior High School Teacher, Engaged!"
"Never tell me the odds."
"His option is to become green goo."
"Halifax. Come for the Internet. Stay for the rain."
"This is our Mental Health Centre."
"It was so col, it was shattering windows."
"Stooges sounds a lot like 'stoo'."
"Is the creature inside the comet, or is the comet the creature?"
"Remember 'salt' is sodium chloride."
"Is it the dreaded otyugh?"
"Thank you, Christmas!"
"I tried to destroy him, but he would not be destroyed."
"I do German counseling."
"Is this going to be more 'Hunger Games' or "Laff-a-Lympics?"
"Captain Caveman is claimed! (It is cannon)"
“I went poopy in my big boy pants.”
“Narratively-driven, benign dictatorship.”
“I reserve the right to screw you over later.”
A – “Where’s that tentacle come from?” // B – It came from me?”
“My collectibles!”
“The fate of the universe depends on a half-orc.”
“Tentacles and orifices? I’ve been around for 10,000 years! Amateurs…”
“I had Only-Fans when it was ‘Only-Fins.’”
“I can send my shark after the dolphin to encourage it to go faster.”
“Hankuo gets a rogue tsunami…”
“Ancorato ends up being that weird tax haven…”
A—“Would you want to have sex with yourself?”// B—”A gang-bang with yourself?”
“The things we change don’t happen”
“That’ll do, DM.”
“Holy shit! I’m not dead!”
“Fucking god-damn, Luckums.”
“This [treehouse] is not up to code.”
“Awesome.” (first response to conspiracy board)
“Are we all nerds?”
“I pee, just a little bit.”
“God dammit, Fergal.”
“This is not math.”
“Real world kind of sucks… D&D is what I like.”
“Holy shit! It’s all real! I’m freaking out here!”
"It's children's natural instinct to dig in fighting positions."
“Epic Death in the first hour.”
“Can I add +1 for being Irish?”
“That’s not how you throw a petrol bomb…”
“Suck it, pig!”
“We’re minors. We’re fine.”
“Nothing says ‘80s Kid’ like a federal crime.”
“We’ll do time in juvvy. It’ll be fine.”
“80s Kid-movie to FLQ terror cell…”
“I’m eleven. I can imagine some pretty horrible shit!”
“I’ve got some Kenyan bean, broh. I rub it in is gums.”
“I can see through time!”
“I am Everything!”
“This tastes like burning.”
“Method D&D.”
“I’m dressing as a Bell Curve.”
“That’s one of the least dork things…”
“A leader is someone who knows that courage is something that has to be done in spite of being afraid.”
“I have some rope…”
“Let’s LARP this place, boys!”
“Did you throw a beanbag at me?”
A – “We came back, the bullies are wearing people’s skin…” // B – “Wearing the policeman’s face…”
“We nail the door shut and burn the house down.”
“Brobot Satanists.”
"Let's go together. You're character's the one that's always protecting us from fun."
“Is this what growing up feels like?”
“All cats are from New Hampshire.” [re: “Live Free or Die”]
“So, we have staged a revolution…”
“Hankuan! I am not Canadian.”
“Can I rub the alien’s junk and we start to fly?”
A - “What’s this I found in the amnesty box? A claymore?” B – “A loitering munitions system?”
A – “You’re a fourteen year old kid with a katana.” // B – “You’re fucking right I am!”
“Hasta la Vista, Lady…”
“Get that legless meatsack [Thatoou] up here!”
“He goes by ‘T-Dog’ now, by the way.”
“We call 911”
“I was less weird then.”
“This is the scariest little kid I’ve ever seen…”
"I've been on the Internet long enough to be absolutely skeptical of everything I've ever seen."
"Being able to work with annoying people is a vauable life skill."
“In any amusement park, always go left.”
“We can’t just spam a celebrity we don’t know.”
“The ritual destruction of all information is complete.”
“That is my second natural 20… it’s all downhill from here.”
“I put on my red cloak.”
A – “Cactecae. Their bodies were covered in thorns.” / B – “They were pricks, eh?”
“Moopsie.”
A - “It’s where the plants store their food before they eat them.” / B – “The stomach?”
“Once we’ve blown up everything with fireballs, we’ll say we come in peace.”
A – “Licked by Captain.” / B – “I’m more of a cat person.”
“We need to cleanse with fire.”
“I always thought the Kardashians were the villains on Deep Space Nine”
“Does it go wobble?”
“I say we head to the Mutara Nebula… Khan!”
“A slurry cloud for them to feed on.”
“Weaponized stoo!”
“We’re not killing her. Space is killing her.”
“Whoever ‘believes’ in space.”
“It involves a lot of vomiting, as I lo0ok through other people’s eyes.”
“This is better than shield-surfing on the roofs of Riot’s Gate.”
“They respect our moral authority.”
“Is that not an invitation to take it over?”
"I'm bringing Shroktath, because he's got a way with the ogre ladies."
"The poet, Blargh."
"I can't roleplay while you're making that face, man."
"I've missed you, Luckums."
"After that one, my dice have been 'I'm so sorry.'"
A - "I don't have to put points into it." [Alchemy] // B - "Well I do. Thanks for reminding me."
"Chris want's to play 3-D chess, and we're playing Candyland."
“Painting miniatures… in a room with no ventilation.”
“Put him behind some dice, see what happens.”
“It’s not existential. It’s just a challenge.”
“I’m going to the John McLane gun to his Hans Gruber.”
“It’s hard to realize you’re an NPC.”
“The Marut thought he was the hero. Half way through, he realized he was the villain… a chapter in someone else’s story.”
“How do you heal a broken story?”
“Something story into real life. Something real life into story.”
“We don’t have a captain. We’re an anarchist collective.”
“Next scene, we’re dumping his body off the ship.”
"These are our stories! And we will stand, and fight, and win!"
"Shroktath, catch me!"
"D&D version of 'Go-Dog-Go'... red swam, blue swarm, green swarm..."
"How come first save I fail in this session is against my own guy's fireball?"
"I am the fear of mushrooms... I am the fear of kitty cats... they're not as scary when they get all diffuse."
"It's nice to be able to defeat your fears, figuratively and literally."
"We're looking for some droids."
"Dr. Shroktath is in."
"So say we all."
"Does he still have his kidneys?"
"It's an older code, but it still checks out."
Shilynn - "What took you so long?" // Player - "There was this goat boy..." // Shilynn - "I hate you."
"A hook and a parrot!"
"There is no limit to bad taste. Trust me, I've looked."
"It takes time to get ogre business out of your uniform."
"Not smelling like ogre semen..." // "That is a phrase I never need to hear again..."
"Is there any waist-deep water I can stand in at te bottom of the stairs?"
"This is an elite gaming group."
"Not so funny the second time, man."
"That there's some good channeling."
"I'm going to wear you like a ruffle in the front."
"I'm Chaotic Good, I was gonna say, 'We came as soon as we heard.'
"Nobody lives at the strategic level."
"This will make us some powerful enemies. Mean we're doing it right."
"They've got Deathstar style safety over there."
"Sometimes art has a cost."
"Anything that can become shawarma may be undervalued in the cosmos."
"That's not the direction the player wants the story to go."
"You're channeling Die Hard 3? Impressive. We're going to follow them to the surface."
"P_ knows, you can't escape the stench, move through the stench. Become part of the stench."
"It's a gnoll-go zone."
"Rules on rules and sub-rules." [It's rules all the way down - DM]
"You got a purdy mouth."
"My Plot Twist card is not so effective against Death Touch."
"It's complex, and I'm going to have to unwind him in therapy for a few sessions."
"Don't want to lawyer it"
"You just made the list."
"You just made the list, in pen."
"Pack Warden v. Pack Warden"
"Gnoll-no-more"
"Time for an f'in montage goatboy... time to level up!"
"The needs of the many do not outweigh the needs of the goatboy."
"Pluto will always be a planet, right here."
"It's like jazz, man"
"He's [Chet] fitting in well."
"Fascists pay the bills."
"I wouldn't say that's the plan, but it is a distinct possibility."
"I assume I don't want to cast 'black light' in here."
"This guy is either a super genius for the Okkalappa resistance or we're in a lot of trouble."
"Step One - get elected to high office, and then slash the prison budget..."
"We could get in if we had a wookie... but I guess we do have a wookie..."
"Mouse over everyone. See who has a name."
"See you in ten levels!"
"He's got his Mr. Spock disguise" (i.e. Chet's hat covering his ears)
"I guess we back Leroy Jenkins"
"Maybe I could crowd surf?"
"The crowd is very thick. In more ways than one."
"Go piss on a war memorial!"
"The truck [i.e. the Brain Bull] hit him [i.e. Shroktath]"
"I'm just here to see JFK."
"I just had a beach vacation. I'm up for anything."
"Play 'Careless Whisper!'"
"Freedom from Death!"
"Giraffe people have rights too!"
"Inspector Longneck at your service!"
"I won't shoot you, motherfucker, but he'll [the charging Brain Bull] have something to say..."
"You can't balance accounts with the Illithid."
"It is literally yellow tape"
"Refuse to ticket because it would make the bull angry"
"At east we know what the last thing that went through its mind was..."
"Welcome aboard, Chet!"
"I'm not saying its a bloodbath..."
"Does it make you look tough, or feel tough?"
"I am armed with good intentions."
"Everyone wants to fight a tabletop city battle until you actually have to to fight a tabletop city battle."
"I will murdelize one."
"My intent is to get into Talstran's rear."
"He's found an orifice in the carapace."
"Leave me this one fucking thing!"
"Anemora, listen. Let me finish the whole story before you get mad."
"I don't wanna' read about you in the newspaper." // "I don't wanna' pay for the trouble you get in."
"When you mouse over the tombstones, there are no names."
"Call in the demonic lawyer! The DM's giving us grief!"
"Put it all back for the next group to do this."
"I wanted his condition to be 'ingredient'."
"He's filled with broth?"
"Daisy, Daisy... Give me your answer, do..."
"We've got the side quests we've got to do, and we're just about done here."
"Of all the bars, in all the space docks..."
"Hang on, your turtleneck is a little down..."
"Anything can be food if prepared properly."
"You've got a face for radio, kid."
"Quenched in the urine of a red-headed boy."
"'Would you rather get punched in the face...?' And then I punch her in the face." // "48 damage. Broken neck."
A - "...and get Hep B." // B - "Hep B fears me, man."
"Are we ever getting off this rock?"
"I'm on the fence about it."
"Taller people at the front can absorb more arrows"
"I don't think we should, guys, that seems dangerous..."
A- "Take out a loan. Start a smal business..." // B - "no! That sounds terrifying!"
"I'm not trying to body shame you..."
"All the racial stereotypes are being thrown out the window."
"Spider reference, spider reference..."
A - "Do you have a 10 foot pole?" // B - "We carry it sideways."
A - "Do we need to exorcise it?" // B - "I don't have a good athletics check."
A - "That was totally ineffective." // B - "That's what I like to hear after using a fourth level spell..."
"Isn't that why we play D&D? So we don't feel ineffective?"
"It's called vomiting Shroktath. You'll be fine soon."
"This is the epitome of why I left the farm."
"Too much."
"It's an anthropomorphic blockchain."
"The company of one's self."
"I finally have someone to play D&D with!"
"Bibs and bobs."
"It's a game store. Once you engage a customer, you're stuck in it for life."
"I'm in the wrong timeline!"
(Illithid tentacle falls to the floor) "Five second rule"
"Wait guys, I got this."
"Like an episode of Secret of N.I.M.H."
"Praise the Warren!"
"I've wizard-marked my pistol." (PHRASING!)
"It's a junior high class." (i.e. the Gobs)
""You can join up but you can never leave. We're the Hotel California!"
"I knew you shouldn't have farted all the time."
"How many quatloos on the newcomers?"
"Glad I stayed at the elevator..."
"50-50 whether we get him back."
"The act of renaming is extremely powerful. And in a fantasy setting, it's mystical
"You're not 'another.' You're one of us."
"To me, you're 'Other Khalid'."
"Holy xp bonus!"
"Space has things going on with it, like gravity and junk."
"They'd end up as brain noodle soup."4
"Just had a Ghostbusters moment - 'If you think of J. Edgar Hoover, then J. Edgar Hoover comes and destroys us...' Clear your minds!"
Luckums - "If you get killed, I'll be be very upset with you." // Shilynn - "If you scratch my ship, I'll be very upset with you."
"Basile and Basile are talking together. They're basically nerding out."
"If we give more loot to the goblins, it creates a problem, 'cause they'll just go out and spend it."
"I find your childhood disturbing, sir."
"I see you looking at me, looking at you."
"We're going to kick their ass! There's no one I'd rather be fighting alongside!"
"What did I say about scratching my ship?!"
"I'm too polite to correct you."
"If someday you transfer and start calling me 'Pesto,' that's ok too..."
"It's a Hellraiser version of the Loveboat." // "Julie! The Kyton Cruise Director."
"Alexsis is looking pretty good all of a sudden"
"I'm anger healing him"
"Shoot Blaine in the puzzle box!"
"Don't go down there, you're gonna get stuck"
"Buy Apple stock young man"
"First Level Paladin of Erroneous"
"I hadn't really considered beyond that..."
"Nein! Hard German no!"
"He completes you."
"Can I write two summaries for extra xp?"
"He's been talking to the volleyball for the past month"
(*WHISPERING*) "I'm broken."
"I've got all the time in the world."
"The whole Reaver motif suggests something else is going on."
"I search the offal for gold pieces."
"I've got some skin in the game... I'm dead."
"Today is a good day to die."
A-"In my journey back from insanity and abject failure..." B- "...bring some cutlery!"
[Upon seeing the first "other" Inordinate Amount, hung with black chains...] "I think I speak for everyone when I say, we get the fuck out of here."
"Once you've been on one death ship, you've been on them all..."
"An inordinate amount of Inordinate Amounts."
"Space is big."
"Tholian Web" or "Operation Annihilation"
Coalman, you have to give us tickets to that gun show
"The manacles of capturing Santa Claus."
"I ain't tryin' that!"
"Aliens-Meets-Santa-Claus-in-Space."
"The sheep was inside the woodchipper."
"I thought they smelt bad on the outside!"
"Isn't nature beautiful?"
"Ugly Nature" (guinea worm & bot flies)
"Did you say the 'right' path... so we go right?"
"But I won't sit on your lap..."
"The kids are (literally) climbing up the wall" (spider climb)
"I do not want to sit on bad touch Santa's lap."
"It's a teachable moment."
"Normally doesn't happen on the first date..."
"Time to wrap some presents." (Arnie accent)
"Makes you evil Indiana Jones, Mother Fucker"
"Are we the baddies?"
"You might be done with Phoenix, but Phoenix ain't done with you."
"Orag takes offence."
"National Lampoon's Aquaman."
"I'm looking at Orag with love."
"Shroktath, you son of a bitch!"
"I've seen him eat... things."
"They have a complicated, awkward relationship. Some would say 'unnatural.'" [Woof & his Crossbow]
"I pull a flask out of my beard..."
"He turns the grip into a tender hold."
"Are just alternate dimensions of one another's parties?"
"They're like one person."
"You could have said that before the arm-wrestling."
"Like microwave popcorn where all of it pops and none of it burns."
"This is the greatest."
"Hey-hey-hey! Easy on the goblins!"
"Orag takes out the popcorn..."
"Rip it open, climb inside it, then punch outside it" [the beholder-kin]
"Nice hash pipe, but you should rip this instead."
"I don't want to go straight to ejecting the warp core..."
"It's not what's not happening."
"It's ALL in the way!"
"You know some D&D nerd has said that in the bedroom... 'Here comes the magic missile!'"
“The ship only has one speed. Forward!”
“…but did you perfectly season a bird stew?”
“Whip in the ass…teroid.”
“Oh man, what a ridiculous world we live in.”
“Give him some closure.”
“A little celebratory self-immolation.”
“That might be the coolest thing that ship ever does.”
“That’s good parenting, right there.”
"He's from Caribou, Saskatchewan."
"Damn students."
"I'll adjust my spreadsheet."
"We're a box of misfit toys."
Debating futures for the L-T: "We can keep him as an alternate food supply." // "An ornamental knife holder?"
Justifying handing the L-T off to literally the first person hey meet in a tiny asteroid town: "He seems like a stand-up guy."
Goblin rides by on somebody's lizard: "That might belong to someone..."
"Nothing like a bowl of whiskey."
"Spread out our attacks to make them more effective."
"He's got magic pants! Steal his magic pants! Skyrim style..."
No. I do not want to steal his magic pants."
"Tell him to leave his boots."
A - "I don't want to die!" // B - "It's never been about what you want."
"We could lock them to the oars."
"go easy on the fire references,"
"There's Goblin lessons at 6, if anyone is interested."
"Do we have to fit the circular filters into the square hole?"
"Who's the goblin now?"
"I loosened the cap for you, man..."
"You asked for 'me' and I have delivered you 'me' in the middle of nowhere."
"Balancing out your humours..."
"Cleanse by fire!"
"My backstory doesn't allow me to take athletics."
"A Half-Orc, 8 charisma, one eye, and a drooling problem. So hot."
"I almost threw up in my mouth, and I live in a giant underground sewer city."
"Game. Paralleling. Life."
A - "We have the ability to read minds right now." B- "Uh... No one said that."
"Wand of Waterboarding"
"This is a no judgment space."
"With the pee-covered bandannas, we're glorious."
"Half of us will fold like deck chairs."
"I'm embarrassed by my numbers."
"If you get 37 on a stealth check, do you actually exist."
"Cut him like a dog."
"With my brooding, menacing intensity..."
"It's Cortana!"
"My strengths lie elsewhere."
"She can't take over my mind, it's too complex."
"Raging Tsunami"
"We need no gold, for certain death is payment enough."
"I've never seen you before either, punk."
"you know you're destined to be a hero if the godlike voice is narrating your life since you were born."
"How the turn tables."
"Whenever someone says they're in charge, it means they're not."
"I assume I'm good with amoebas, given my living situation."
"He [Dreek] lacks creativity."
"Orcs are people too."
"How my ship works?"
"Neogi. The other white meat."
"I accept the beating with gentle good humour."
"I want the beating so that I remember the sting of failure."
"Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong!"
"Chicks dig scars."
"That got dark fast."
"Lost an eye - it makes your dick bigger. That's what I got from English 30."
"I never learned how to restrain the troops when they want to eat the commanding officer."
"The good news is, the ogre's gone."
"The enemy of my enemy can still be my enemy
"Monster lives matter. It's a larger movement."
"Not my first time dealing with goblins..."
"Something's going on here, but I'm thinking of donuts..."