"When you're powerless to do nothing but watch the world burn, it's understandable that you might find a sense of agency in throwing a couple more logs on the fire."
- Della Apfelbruk, Director of the Federation's Goblin Integration Project
"Broodmates can be assets or liabilities. They are usually both at the same time."
- The Neogi Book of Ownership
Starting a revolution is easy. Running a revolution? Finishing it? Rebuilding and ruling afterwards? Those are hard.
In the dull gloom of the everlight lanterns below decks, thirteen pairs of eyes burn red with a hunger for mayhem that you have all seen before, screaming down upon you from across a battlefield. Only this time, instead of being its object, you are its masters.
Gurunk’s trumpeting bellows ring in your ears. The goblins’ frantic chants have subsided. Even your former orc captors – freed from their control vizors and caught up in the moment – roared with delight. The moment is electric. Now, they all look at you in anticipation.
It’s remotely-responsible Connor that manages to put the moment into words, and so doing, seals your fates, “What do you want us to do now, boss?”
“This is unfair. It is my turn. I grow weary of bossing orc meat. Let me peer into the minds of the slave meat in the hold. There are so many different kinds of meat to look at!”
“You are a degenerate and you know little! Skitterex Broodmate gave me the wand and trusts me to look into the minds of the prisoners without giving over to unnatural unclean thoughts. Their commanding officer is our meat puppet and tells me all. Skitterex is wise and recognizes my value and purchases my trust. Soon I will own my own spelljamming vessel. You wait and see.”
“If Skitterex Broodmate is wise, why does he stay in his quarters all day? Hmmm? Why does he only say the same four things over and again?”
“You are unfair! Skitterex Broodmate is thinking of closing our next big deal!”
“I think we should short the next big deal. Dallan Thool will not be happy, and there will be a payment yet to be made.”
“Pah! Dallan Thool is no Neogi. What does Dallan Thool know of finance? A brain with tentacles that cares not for profit or ownership, only power. Profit is power. To seek power without profit is like seeking a full belly without food. I would not deign to own Dallan Thool.”
“A dead Neogi cannot buy as much as a live one. We should take our profits and seek to return to the Company. They cannot deny us re-entry now.”
“If Skitterex had shared the location of Sentar with us, we would have more with which to bargain.”
“No matter, our value increased simply for having laid eyes upon the Phantom Sphere, let alone traversed it, and found the gem at its core.”
ORC: “Lord Master, the Gump is still following us. It has slowed down, but it may be able to pick up speed if it can push off those asteroids on our starboard side when it reaches them.”
“Hmmm… maintain a distance, but let it close the gap a bit. Let the Gump think it can catch us. I know client who would pay good money for Gump parts. I can lead the stupid creature there.”
“We should tell Skitterex!”
“No. The Gump is my profit. Bad enough you will expect a percentage. Besides, Commander Lord Master Skitterex Broodmate was very specific about not being bothered. Skitterex Broodmate must consider how to acquire the next big thing.”
“Skitterex Broodmate needs to consider more quickly. While we skirt nautoloids and Imperium patrols, we are running our of water.”
“At least we have plenty of meat!”
LAUGHTER “True. And profit!”
The wonder and the beauty of the world above decks is unlike anything you have ever experienced. A web of twinkling lights overlays a vibrant tapestry of shifting colours draped over a blackened sky. The change from blue to green and back to purple to red is hypnotic. It is like staring into a campfire in the middle of the night, if the campfire were flickering across the heavens.
Occasional objects varying in size from houses to mountains move around and past you, languidly it seems, and at great distances. Most appear to be misshapen rocks or oblong planetoids, though some are more distinctive. This one glows and has a tail. That one bears signs of greenery. Yet another appears almost organic in its configuration.
An ornately crafted chair is bolted to the center of the room before you. This must be the helm. Directly in front of it, also bolted to the deck very close to it, is a pedestal that would sit between the legs of anyone seated in the chair. Perched on top of it, there is a wooden box, sturdy and finely crafted, thought quite plain compared to the ornate design of the chair. At its top is a single large round red plunger or button about the size of the mouth of a decent size pint glass. On either side of it are two handles rigidly fixed in place, so that anyone seated in the helm could grip them with his or her elbows resting on the armrests.
The cushion sitting on the helm itself is covered with shedded Neogi fur.
Touching the box, even casually is enough to notice the presence of another being in the room… she may not be there physically, but her presence is unmistakable.
“My name is Shilynn. I'm a brain a box. Hello.”
t took us a while, but we came up with a plan. The first step was to get our gear. Basile and Connor had scouted out the room below decks where it was, and it was going to be a challenge. These “spider creatures” as we kept calling them that were down there, gave everyone the creeps. It was almost like if you mixed a spider with a rabbit and a giant ant, and topped them off with some sort of strange plant growth on their backs with a stem and a mouth… and sped the whole thing up? Did the plant part control the creature? They released some sort of cloud of seeds - was that dangerous?
Anyway, Basile - he’s really good at this kind of stuff - used his skills and some of the supplies we had lying around to whip up some kind of bomb. He and Luckums snuck down the stairs, and it was so strange. The second they went around the corner out of view, it was like they weren’t even there anymore. Not so much as the sound of a creaking board or a scratch of clothing. Sent a shiver down my spine. They threw in the bomb, and high tailed it up the stairs, and it worked as we had hoped. Well, sort of hoped. The creatures came speedcrawling up the stairs alright, but on the walls and roof - we almost missed them. But they landed right into the kill zone that we’d made for them at the top of the stairs. The crack of Khalid firing his gun, bolts of some kind of energy coming out of Luckum’s hands, we were taking them down. But when you hit one of these things, the thing you hit them with seemed to want to get away - it was the weirdest thing. Well, not the weirdest. When you hit them they released some sort of cloud of dust - spores, I think some of the others called it. We’d made up bandanas and soaked them in urine to try and get some kind of protection against that, but still. Creepy.
But not as creepy as the beast that dropped from the ceiling and bit into Droog the orc’s neck. When it did so, it was like it pumped some sort of weird, white worms into his neck. They were squirming in and out of the wound. Poor Droog - he’d been scared stiff of these things, and Basile had just shamed him into fighting. He was screaming and clutching at his neck, and Basile and Luckums backed away from this creature but they were cornered. Thankfully, Basile had prepared another of his surprises. He splattered this creature with some sort of tar. It smelled almost metallic, but it seemed to slow the creature down enough that we could get over and finish it off. That was the last of them, it turned out. And luckily for Droog, one of our goblins - Alexis - was a Druid, and knew exactly how to heal that gross bite he’d got.
So we got our gear - that felt good. The goblins from the Horde were armed too… But what to do next? The storage room with our gear had another, locked door to a room none of our scouts had seen. My vote was to leave it be, and try to get our captors, but there was some talk about going in there.
We decided to split up. The smaller creatures - Basile, Luckums, and most of the Horde goblins - would squirm up through some pipes that led through the back of the ship and try to get the jump on the Knee Yo Gee [purposeful misspelling] that way. I’m not really sure what happened with them after that. The bigger crew - Khalid, Gurunk and his handlers (the Shannons), and our friendly orcs, and me would try to come up around the side of the ship, and wait for the signal to attack.
Well, plans change. When we got up there, Khalid points to an orc, points at, and then pokes me. Okay, boss. I grab our spare orc helmet, pop up on deck, and start walking around like I belong there. Nobody seemed any the wiser, and I made sure I walked close to the Knee… Nee… the Slaver creature on deck.
The sign to attack was that Luckums was going to get his cat - it's more than just a pet or companion, he shares some sort of magical bond with that animal - to come with us and meow. The meow wasn’t even finished and I rushed this slaver creature. I wanted to break it, in every way possible, and into a thousand, bloody pieces. I towered over this pathetic creature, as I brought my spear crunching down into it, and I could just feel the fear and shock coming off it.
Chaos followed. The cries of combat, my squad jumping over onto the decks behind me, the thunder of Khalid’s gun going off a few feet away. I remember Illeyesar saying many times, “a battle is not over until it’s over. Sometimes a moment comes when you can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.” I think that moment came when Khalid put one of his pistol shots through the chest of the slaver I was fighting. It seemed to break the mind control the creature had over their visored orc servants, and just in time. They were swarming us, and a couple had taken some shots at me from behind, just missing. After it died the slaver orcs seemed helpless, stumbling around, crying out. That gave us a chance, I think.
Not that we were out of the fire just yet. Skitterex (well, not as it turned out, but I sure thought it was) and his pet Umber Hulk show up on deck. And the Umber Hulk spits up this gross black goop onto Khalid and our orc allies - even out of the corner of my eye I could see the pain on their faces. Injured and outnumbered, I knew we needed to change the course of this battle quick if we were to have any chance. If Skitterex managed to get control of these orcs again, we were dead meat. I thought of my squad - Luckums, Basile, Khalid - and how great they’d been. All the risks they’d been taking, the beatings, to get us to this point. I knew they were counting on me in this fight. And then I thought of our slaver captors - coming into our thoughts, abusing us, talking about us as their property. I felt it all rush through me as I roared and let my spear fly as I’d never thrown it before. In a heartbeat it crossed the ship, and - bullseye. The spear impaled Skitterex (not Skitterex) through the head, and it collapsed into a heap onto the deck. Except the body now looked like that of an orc? What the hells was going on here?
No time to think though, as the battle still raged on, and even with our kills of the two (one?) slavers it was still not looking great. As I glanced behind me, Gurunk was going toe-to-toe with the Umber Hulk (not Umber Hulk), and I saw him stagger, blood and black goop running off him in a mess. Khalid was taking on the boss slaver orc - big, mean looking bastard, and I saw him wince as the big brute just missed cleaving my squadmate in two. In a stroke of luck, the visorless orc on me overreached, and almost impaled himself on his own sword as he face planted into the deck.
I grabbed one of my other spears, sidestepped into line with Khalid, and managed to get a good shot in on the big orc he was fighting all in the same movement. That was one mean, tough looking orc we were staring down. Seemed like the boss of the others. Khalid’s hands were a blur - I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a tight spot like that before, it was incredible. Black powder, ball, crack. Repeat. All while going toe-to-toe with one of the most ferocious orcs I’ve ever seen. He blew a hole clean through this orc. You could see the stars of the sky through the hole in its body amidst the squirting orc blood. Incredibly, it roared and fought on. It brought it’s sword down on me, and I sidestepped just enough that it glanced off the side of my head and off my shoulder, and I was seeing stars of a different kind. A hot wave of pain spread through my body from my shoulder, I felt woozy, almost like I was going to puke, and I knew this fight was nearly finished for me, one way or the other.
And then, the strangest thing happened. It was like the ship began to twist and turn, and we were thrown from the deck, and we were floating around the ship. Floating. Like in water, but we were breathing. I really felt like I was going to puke. Well, when I wasn’t blacked out. I remember only parts of what happened next, but somehow they managed to get a rope around me and pull me back to the deck. I tried to get up, and almost fell over. My whole body hurt, and I was still seeing stars. I managed to get up on one knee, and took in our situation. The remaining slaver orcs had been roped in and tied up. No sign of the umber hulk, but the body of the strange, huge orc with the black goop coming out of it must have been what we thought was the Umber Hulk? I almost blacked out again, and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.
We won. I’m pretty sure we won. What next?
Excerpts from the War Diary of Corporal Khalid ibn al-Walid - Day 98
Freeday Claireweek Berrona in the 48th Annum Independencia
[...]
I started trying to organize the goblins and it was a mess. We ordered them to bar and trap the doors which turned into them running around screaming and trying to start cooking fires. First things first, I sent Connor and Basile below decks to try to understand what protected the room in which our gear was stored.
While they did that, I circulated among our improvised platoon and tried to instil some order. I put Charlotte on to making us weapons: knives, axes and slings. I was less successful getting the Shannons to control Gurunk. The orcs stood ready but were nervous about our efforts regarding the storage room. Unfortunately Basile and Connor confirmed the room was guarded by four fetid and foul monsters of which none had any experience. We lined up to assault the room using the confining spaces of the ship itself to help us. Basile and Brendon made alchemical bombs and I had a small disappointment in not being able to help (maybe next time!). It was more important to build a small squad of goblins as our reserve: Bronwyn, Veronica and Dakota. Drog went into the side room to support Luckums and Basile. Our attack started with Basile throwing the flashbombs into the storage room and then drawing the horrors up the stairs into the kill trap. Considering how foul these Qlippoths were and that we had only ersatz weapons and no armour, we made out reasonably well. Unfortunately Drog was wounded and infected by one of these monsters and only by the quick thinking of Luckums and Alexis was he saved.
We regained all of our equipment and armed ourselves quickly. We secured the LT in the orc’s quarters with some food but he was still under the creature’s influence. We then went down through the aft door and gained the lower weapons deck. Shroktath and I unbolted a ballista for Gurunk and, with the orcs, prepared to haul it to the top deck. Meanwhile, Basile, Luckums and the goblins snuck through the piping systems of the ship and listened to the deliberations of our captors. We hauled that ballista up the side of the ship as we climbed. I slipped at one point but Shroktath was calm and strong as he pulled on the lines in such a way to keep our movements silent. He reached the top and was spotted by the guards. I quickly grabbed an orc helmet from my belt, threw it to him and he put it on and vaulted on to the deck. They were completely hoodwinked by this boldness and accepted him as another guard and did not raise the arm.
Instantly and at that signal, Luckums and Basile dropped the wall in the cabin and found the Neogi, Lurkalex, at the helm. The attack turned into pure chaos: no lines, no formations just raw violence. Skitterex and his orcs appeared and swarmed the deck. Coalman was cool as he wedged a spear into the lock that was stopping Gurunk from joining the battle. I have seen farmhands build a field fence with more drama. Who is this aged, elven private?
I went to kill the orc commander right in front of me when the ship rocketed randomly and I fell to the deck. My aim on the orc was fouled but as I dropped down, Lurkalex came into my sight-picture like I was looking at a painting with a magnifying glass. I squeezed the trigger, his head disappeared and his helmet fell to the deck. Luckums suddenly sat at the helm and took control of the ship. [She spoke later of an intellect that helps the pilot control the ship. She or it is a disembodied presence called Shilynn, not a ghost but a mind shoved into the physical form of the Inordinate Amount. More we will need to learn of this entity]. The ship rocked around violently as Luckums appeared to assume greater and greater control.
Our battle proceeded with each side inflicting greater and greater bloodshed upon the other. I was trying to apply some control our platoon’s progress and fight as well but it was all a whirlwind of blood. Something stopped me just for an instant: rage. This close quarters battle on the deck of an alien ship surrounded by aberrations from the outer-dark and orcs was filled with rage at a level I was unfamiliar. The rage of the orcs is legendary and in my short time in the army I have seen enough to confirm the legend. But I stopped just for an instant when I heard Shroktath roar. It seemed like everything froze, just for an instant, as he threw a spear at Skitterex. In that moment, it was only that spear. It struck Skitterex with such force that it died instantly. Then the lie was shattered; it was not the Neogi but an orc covered by illusion.
In spite of our successes, the Mutineers were starting to buckle. Even Gurunk was near the end. Then Luckums did something and spun the ship like a ball and sent our foes into the wildspace. It cleared the decks.
We had taken the ship! We would need some time to regroup, rearm and recover. Drog the Orc had died in this battle. Certainly, there was likely more foul secrets left on board. The goblins reported fires on board. We did not know where we were and who was following us or even what the gem at the core of Sentar the Phantom Sphere was. But we had taken the ship!
It was our 98th day on this ship as slaves. Today was Freeday and so I declare the Mutiny on the Inordinate Amount a success! This is our ship now. We were no longer the Inordinate Mutineers. It seems our songs on the oars for the last three months had been prescient. We were now the Inordinate Privateers!
Things to Do:
Put Coalman on a three-times daily wellness check routine for the LT.
Have Shroktath try to keep a lid on the goblins' mania for fire and destruction. Can the orcs help?
Get to know Coalman better.
Have Basile search the ship for materials to support us - food, water, equipment, alchemical supplies
Talk to Luckums...learn anything meaningful about how this ship operates
Repair personal equipment - gun maintenance, bullet making, equipment improvements
Sleep_____________
After months in captivity planning to rise up, it all happened so fast. One moment Dreek was tormenting Shroktath the next he lied viciously defeated on the floor of the galley. The power and violence were a sight to behold. Even I could not resist a toothy growl at the sight of this carnage as all the goblins burst out into a primal chant praising the mighty warrior.
Somehow, Khalid managed to mobilize the goblins into action almost as if they were hobgoblin soldiers. Oh of course their attention span was short, and a few distractions caught there attention, but they were made busy quickly crafting weapons and securing the entrances to the lower deck.
Basile, that smart noble rodent, crafted bombs of some sort which, once we snuck down to the lower rear room, used to flush out the parasitic-zombie-plant-spiders. The creatures scurried to the rowing galley where we had tried to create a kill zone to take care of them. We did, but the entire scene was creepy and frightening. Thankfully, my companions held their ground and pummeled the abominations into a pulp.
I was finally reunited with my dog-eared arcane notebook. Oh, how I had missed it. I had dreamed about sliding my little green fingers slowly along its spine and across its secret laden pages. I took a long sniff of its dusty parchments and knew that very soon I would be able to regain my arcane powers that had been beaten and drugged out of me. We had a few good long moments together to reunite as my other companions were busy coming up with a plan.
My thoughts then focused on finding that mind-raping Skitterex and giving it a piece of my mind. I wanted to avoid all the “I’m going to get killed” encounters and let the meatier companions storm the rest of the ship by force. Basile, sneakier than even a citizen-worthy goblin like myself, joined me with the rest of the gobs as we skulked up to the higher rooms using the inner utility spaces through the bowels of the boat. Our goal, no more mind control and me at the helm of my ship. I sent Skazz with the beefs in case we needed to send a signal.
Crawling inside the arteries of the vessel, Basile and I advanced a little ahead of the goblin mutineers. We came to a point where we should be near the helm and we stopped to overhear some conversation happening on the other side of a thin wall. It was the two lesser Neogi, Creepax and Lurkelix. Apparently Skitterex had been staying in his quarters and was not as chatty as usual. Something was weird about his behaviour. More interestingly, there was a brain with tentacles on the ship named Dallan Thool who wasn’t a Neogi and didn’t share the other Neogi single minded focus on finances and ownership. Maybe this was the creature locked up in the hold below? [Actually, Dallan Thool is the name of the Mindflayer/Illithid that Skitterix double-crossed - DM]
We also overheard the mercantile abominations talk about having set eyes on the Phantom Sphere. Here I guess they were taking about the sphere Sentar is in. Apparently, there is a gem of great value at its core. It seems they don’t know how to get there. That secret Skitterex kept for itself.
By the time the chit-chat ended. Basile, I, and the goblin mob were ready to smash some Neogi noggins. I was hungry and kept thinking about that recipe Edgar and I had refined over the last few weeks with the center-piece ingredient being Neogi brains. Neogi Noggin Noodle soup. I could almost taste it. Rat flesh had curbed my appetite, but I still longed for some proper drippy blood-curdled flesh on my tongue and between my hungry teeth. Maybe we can find some dew-cut mint.
We smashed through the wall only to find that one of the Neogi had left. Probably for the best. As eager as we were for freedom, this fight still left us to outnumber one Neogi versus a cunning rat and a mob of goblins. We had reached my helm chambers, but it was a little different than I had imagined. My navigation chair was ornately crafted and bolted in the center of the room. I quickly moved around towards the exit. The last thing we needed was to make the odds worse. Already I could hear the roar of battle on the decks outside. I knew Shroktath’s pent-up anger-rage, and Khalid’s explosive wand coupled with his ability to muster the mutineers would put the fight to our oppressors. Basile was trying to recover and object from the Neogi. I didn’t see what is was because I was distracted by a big glossy red button.
The button was just a small part of what looked like a brain in a box. In front of the helm, between where my legs would go, was a pedestal with a wooden box on top. There was the pressable button next to two handles and a large glass dome. While the others took down the Neogi from my seat, I hopped in. The damn Neogi had shed all over the place. Talk about territorial.
I instinctively grabbed at the handles and goblin pup, was I in for an out-of-body experience. I just about lost my rat bits and had to try at the helm a second time. There was a wizard’s brain, kept alive by Illithid technology, in the jar-box and it was bound to the ship. I found out later, bonded to Skitterex too. It’s name was Shilynn. It felt like we occupied the same body-mind space. Talk about personal space. She seemed to know we were from Sentar and she helped me get control of the ship. Her only request was that I do NOT press the big nice movable red button. Easy!
By the time I could focus on the room around me again, Basile and goblinoids has finished with either Creepax or Lurkelix. I still not sure which is which. We will see if they taste the same anyway. I could hear the battle get more fierce, violent, and desperate out on the deck. Not knowing what to do to help my battle pressed companions, I asked Shilynn for assistance. The next thing I know, the ship is doing some tummy-twisting maneuvers, and everyone is being violently tossed about. I hear the cheers of victory as my companions seize the advantage and retake our ship.
Thanks Shilynn, I’ve been looking for a friend that shares my interests. It is near-impossible to find someone that shares the same thoughts as me. Would you be willing to take me on as an arcane apprentice? I think we are going to get along swell.
No sooner the moment won – we could smell the next perilous challenge. Fire!
It’s the smell that gives it away. In wildspace, you are learning, the world above decks is always bathed in a radiant twilight of a glowing black sky. Stars are like embers, and more problematically, embers are like stars. So it’s the smell that gives it away. That and the sheepish admission that follows from Connor…
“Uh, Boss, uh… it seems this boat has gone and got itself on fire somehow…”