Session 26:
Emerald Apocalypse

It's been three weeks since the Inordinate Amount broke through the Ylfen blockade on the Rock of Bral. On their way to rendezvous with the Boulder and the Brinkmanship the heroes comes across an abandoned Dwarven Citdael, the Worker's Rights. They find the Boulder here, abandoned for roughly three days. It appears the ogres and the goblin crew members who were with them went inside and did not come out. The heroes and Captain the Blink Dog decide to look for their friends. They find the citadel is filled with verdant jungle-like growth, despite the perpetual gloom inside. The ogres left three clear pathways, splitting up to explore the vast interior. Down one path, they find a pile of sleeping ogres around a stone stele, each of them covered in tiny pin prick wounds. A careful search reveals that one still has a venomous wooden thorn stuck in skin. Down a second path, they find more ogres in another overgrown central hall. Shroktath is attacked by a monstrous Wolf in Sheep's Clothing, its woody tentacles attempting to drag him into its gaping jaws. Down the third path, they find another pile of ogres (but not all of them) and some of their goblin crew (Alexsis and Connor). They are ambushed by a troop of cactus pygmies. Charlotte the goblin joins the battle. With the cactus people defeated, an undead Astrosphinx appears, infested and animated by the verdant growth that fills the asteroid. Following a game of riddles it grows angry and explodes with rays of sunlight. After narrowly defeating the beast, the heroes rescue the surviving uneaten ogres and find the remains of the goblin Blaine. Later, back on board the Inordinate Amount, they notice that Luckums is being taken below decks by two goblins they don't recognize. Three other Luckums form across the timestream are attempting to spirit her away through the portal they found on board. They explain that kidnapping Luckums is the only way to get the heroes through the portal to stop the Final Sphere from collapsing and the Indistinction from ending destroying the Spheres. You know. Tuesday night...

Before we do anything else, I would like to retcon a couple things from the last days on Bral. I might do this a couple times yet.

First, I would like you tell me about saying farewell to Goodboy. What happened? How did it go down for your characters, for the crew? Describe the scene. Any character specifics.

There are very few on Bral who learn the secrets of the Elder Brain. Fewer still who are permitted to live with that knowledge without having it wiped from their minds.

However, in your short time on the Rock you became well known amongst its denizens – over the surface and throughout the Middle Dark. A fact not lost on the Elder Brain. And so your legend grew, especially among the Warrenfolk. You are widely regarded as the Chosen of the Auditors. Folke whisper when you walk by. However, you don’t get a discount. If anything, you get charged more and were frequently asked to advertise.

What Elder Brain Bral does do for you is bind your minds together. So long as you are less than 1,000 m from one another, you may speak to each other telepathically.

Pilot’s Personal Log. It’s been nearly three weeks since we broke the Ylfen blockade on Bral. I still wake up smiling as I think of the goblins mimicking the looks on the faces of the messenger mages inside the disabled communications array. Smiling on the inside.

We’re approaching the coordinates agreed upon for a rendezvous with the Boulder and the Brinkmanship, a cloud of icy planetesimals, too temporary to be named. These types of clusters are an easy place to hide if you have the skill, a better place to avoid for the gravitational fluctuations they cause and all the wildlife they attract.

We’ve had the ships best weather-eye on the mast looking for vessels or trouble for the past two days, the Monkey Goblin, Chet. It’s all Coalman can do to keep the other goblins from distracting him with their endless hazing.

These creatures are every bit as loathsome and insufferable as the legends say. And having come from Ylfen aristocracy, I know a thing or two about loathsome and insufferable. They are also some of the most resilient and loyal spacers I’ve ever seen cross a deck. I won’t say they’re skilled. But what they lack in competence, they more than make up for in bravado.

It’s hard not to like them. For all the days I dreaded waking up wishing for death, trapped inside that horrific pilot’s box, I now cannot wait to see what new madness the day brings.

Oh, how the loathsome and insufferable have fallen.

Shilynn Luckborn. The Harbinger.

Chet is hanging upside down by his tail.

It’s hard to tell if he’s paying attention to his assigned task up in the scavver’s nest. He’s taking far too much pleasure in the break that Coalman is giving him from being hazed by the other goblins on board.

Their own frustration for not having access to their Monkey Goblin “Rube,” as they call him – a goblin rank that translates roughly to “punching bag” – is actually have an effect on their ability to get their work done about ship.

So, it was a surprise when Chet suddenly went rigid and gave out trill tropical bird call, pointing starboard, aft’n’down.

Shilynn quickly started adjusting course, slowing the Inordinate Amount in the process. The crew quickly got about their work, the new hands having been schooled by their goblin shipmates. “Trained” would be too strong a word.

It takes some time for anyone else to see what Chet spotted. Some of the goblins make the sign of the evil eye and mutter about him. “T’ain’t natural,” Edgar spits.

Sure enough. There’s the Boulder. “It’s moored to that small moon.”

“That’s no moon.”

No. It’s a giant Dwarven head.

Jennifer explains, “Dwarven Citadels are massive affairs, and the largest can carry upwards of 700, even 1,400 dwarves comfortably, and many more if need be. Architecturally, Citadels resemble dwarven strongholds built in mountains or hills on groundling worlds. However, they sometimes get a bit creative in their outward appearance, especially if they want to make the Citadel last that much longer. Normally they are festooned with heavy weapons, usually catapults, although other weapons are possible.

“Citadels are more fortresses than actual vessels, though they plod through Wildspace. Rather than a pilot’s inherent magic, their Helm’s are powered by forges that capture the collective efforts of the clan to mine and hollow it out. From each according to his ability.

“Once an asteroid is exhausted, and no more work is possible, the old Citadel is abandoned.”

That would explain why this one hasn’t moved – why none of the watch towers are lit. Why there are no gruff calls from the ramparts. It’s called the Workers’ Rights.

You watched it for an hour. Unfortunately, there are no signs of life on board the Boulder either.

“What madness drove them there?” That was Shannon Two.

•  A cluster of sleeping ogres (12). Though it looks like there were more at one point. Some have been dragged (Susandbag, but not Barellerella). Most of their bodies are covered with pinprick wounds caused by tiny wooden thorns.

• Another pile of sleeping ogres (including Gurunk, Grapple & Smashleigh… His extended family Grope is there… but not Grunt!); there are signs here of several trees and and shrubs having been lit haphazardly on fire.  WOLF-IN-SHEEP’S-CLOTHING 

• Connor and Alexis are in a third pile, sleeping. 5 ogres are missing as are Blaine and Charlotte.

o   It occurs to you, as the ambush begins, that this would be the ideal place for an ambush.

o   CACTUS PYGMIES

o   Midway through the battle, Charlotte appears, Swinging on a rope and howling like a deranged insectoid banshee.

Short, stout, green, and covered with sharp thorns this small humanoid wields a spear. Tendrils of fungus dangle from its arms, midsection, and legs. Some have bright flowers sprouting from their heads. Fruits hanging form their arms.

From stone overlooks peering down on this hall line after line of cactus pygmies appear. They launch a smattering of spikes and then descend rapidly down the vines. Hundreds of them howling and streaming into the hall from every direction.

To Shroktath: A Gardener? I thought your kind had vanished from the Spheres along with the goblins. This is going to be an interesting day. 

To Basile: Warrenfolk made such troublesome worshippers. Excellent workers, but always so pack-oriented – difficult to usurp their will.

To Luckums: This one has the stink of Doom about her. Like she ends worlds. I’ll eat her last.

Riddle: I don't exist in place or time Yet there's more of me than stars that shine. What am I?

Answer: Nothing.

Riddle: What is full of holes but still holds water?
Answer: A sponge

Riddle: The more of this there is, the less you see. What is it?
Answer: Darkness

From the aft deck, you see a pair of goblins manhandling a third with a bag over its head below decks. Normally, nothing about this would be particularly alarming during the average day aboard the Inordinate Amount. However, this has been a rather interesting day. And moreover, although they seem vaguely familiar, you do not actually recognize either of these goblins, but the one with the bag over its heads is dressed like Luckums.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

You approach midships, where the secret portal you found is hidden.

As you approach this is what you hear:

Luckums 1 – “Hold her down!”

Luckums 2 – “How do we know it’s her? Can we kill her?”

Luckums 3 – “What are you doing? No!” Something clatters to the floor. “This is Fortuna. This one has to live.”

Luckums 2 – “Aww… it’s so hard to keep track… How do we know it’s her?”

Luckums 3 – “Because this is the only place in the Multispheres without its own Luckums. She shouldn’t even be here. This is definitely the one we followed through the Cradle of Creation. Now stay focussed on your task!”

Luckums2 – “I guess that’s why you got the Fox’s Cunning and I got the Bull’s Strength…

Luckums 1 – “Uh, guys… we’re being watched.” Under her breath, “Act natural.”

Four Luckumses turn and look at you at once. Including the one with the bag on her head. The effect is disconcerting.

-        This (Fortuna) is definitely the Luckums that’s been killing the rest of us throughout the Multisphere tried to kill me.

Q & A

·        We don’t know what happened. But we know that Fortuna here, and the rest of you need to go through this portal if you want to live.

·        She’s the only one of us that made it past Ruinquake. You’re all bound to one another.

·        We’re the last Legion of Luckums in the Multispheres. We’ve been hiding in the Cradle of Creation and travelling back in time from there while we can trying to figure out how it happened…

WHAT?

·        The end of everything. Ragnarök. Armageddon. Gotterdammerung. The Fifth Sun. End of Days. Apocalypse Now. Eal Housewives… That’s it, man. Game over, man!

·        The Spheres are Collapsing. It started with Sentar, then Maglulon—the Shattered Sphere—soon after that. The imbalance sends the rest smashing into one another through the phlogiston.

·        I wish I could say the greatest powers of the Spheres – the Ylfe, the Psulron, the Illithid, the Star Dragons and the rest – join forces to stop it from happening… but well… mostly they fight each other to the bitter end. Two more spheres shattered in rapid succession, and, well… We know the Final Sphere exists, because it starts to collapse inward as well.

·        And what lay beyond began to pour in.

WHAT’S THAT?

·        Nothing. Nothing at all. The Indistinction. The One.

·        That’s when HE told us to find Fortuna.

WHO?

·        Molator the Mercane.

·        WE KNOW WHAT…

·        WE DON’T KNOW WHY…

·        AND IF WE DON’T KNOW WHY, WE CANNOT STOP IT…

Just once, it would be nice if we had a trip that went smoothly. Nice and easy. No space giants, no ghost ships, no slaver raids. You know, A to B. “How was your trip from Brahl, Shroktath?” “Uneventful,” I’d like to answer. Maybe someday.

Eventful, is what I’m answering this time. We were making our way to meet up with the Boulder and [Thaliose’s ship] when Chet, our new monkey goblin, spotted something. A giant boulder - not as big as Brahl, but still - carved like a dwarven head.  Apparently that’s how the dwarves in Magluon set up shop. Not that weird considering, you know, dwarves. But still, kinda weird.

Weirder still, the Boulder was moored to this dwarven skull, and with no signs of life on board. We approached cautiously and noted that - weirder still - there was all kinds of plant life creepycrawling out of almost every gap and crevice in the old dwarven home. Even I know plants need sunlight. Where the heck were they getting that?

That question aside, we were worried about the fate of our allies and crewmates, so we set off to investigate. Carefully, we tracked down three groups of them, and all had met the same fate - holes in their skins, some still weeping, and piled, drugged asleep around old, dwarven pillars. I think it was Basile that figured out the connection - whatever’d pierced our allies had also put them to sleep. Basile managed to pry out a large thorn from one of the holes in one of the ogres, and I could almost feel his mind working through the problem of the poison and its counter.

We got attacked at the second pillar. Well, I got attacked. Another bloody strange creature - weird bunny like creature sitting atop a log. Which was all cute and everything, until the bunny’s eyes start to vibrate and the log springs tentacles which are trying to pull me into a big toothy mouth. We finished that thing, whatever it was, off quickly enough, but it had us all on edge as we followed the third pathway. More or less an identical scene to the last two clumps of ogres, excepting that this last pillar was surrounded by rock shapes that, we realized a hair too late, were perfect for staging an ambush.

It was about all we could handle. We were swarmed by these weird cactus creatures. They shot thorns at us which made you feel drowsy. And both the creatures and their thorns came at us in waves. Hazel was amazing - protecting Basile, healing us and casting other spells. Luckums was flying about blowing up crowds of Cacti with her fireballs. Khalid was much the same, when he wasn’t tearing holes through our enemies with his guns. I was damned proud of my mates - fighting like hell, and well. Still we were nearly swamped. And then their witch doctors popped up and started casting spells. My mates took them down. A big Cactus hero thingy popped up. Team effort - took that down too.

We were nearly done, and I mean that in more ways than one, cause after such a near-run and exhausting fight, there appeared (I later learned it’s name) an Astro-Sphinx. It could shine like a star, which explained the abundant plant life well enough, but that doesn’t mean it was nice or anything. It taunted us with tales of how it had easily subdues our allies, how they hadn’t proved very tasty, and how it hoped we would make a yummier meal.

Except first, it wanted to play with its food. It engaged us in a riddle game, but when Khalid - smartly - tried to turn the tables on it and riddle the Sphinx, it quickly grew tired of the game. It unleashed a burning flash of starlight that made me gasp in surprise and pain. I could see everyone was hurt, but Luckums actually faltered and fell. I fought the urge to rush to Luckums, and instead rushed to fight the Sphinx. Basile had magically hasted me earlier in the fight, so I closed the gap much quicker than I think the Sphinx had expected. I called forth all of my gardener might, and rained down blow after blow on the shocked and now bleeding beast. Hurt, but not beaten, it pounced on me like a cat does a mouse, and with about the same effect. Already hurt from the previous fights, it battered and bloodied me, and I could feel consciousness slipping away. Again, I called forth the blood of the gardeners and the healing powers in me. It was enough - barely - to keep me on my feet. But I was glad of it. What a glorious sight it was to see Khalid blasting away, and putting an end to this evil, arrogant creature that, it turns out, had eaten both Captain Barbbarbella and our crewmate, Blaine.

Hazel had rushed to Luckums’ side, as I knew he would. We had all made it, but a close run fight it was. Reminded me of the mutiny on board the Amount near the beginning of our journey together. We woke the survivors and all returned to our ships, pushing off as soon as we were able.

The next part of the journey was uneventful? Hah! We end up tailing a group (yep. That’s right)  of Luckumses (?) down below decks, and one of them (our Luckums) is like a prisoner of the other or something? Bag over her head and tied up, anyways. And the other Luckumses are all arguing about what to do. It seemed like our Luckums had done some messing with too many timelines in our surprising victory over Ruinquake back on Sentar. And those gujamellons had gone to seed, as they say. The Luckumses said we need to follow them through a portal to Sentar, or time and creation itself might unravel.

Well what’s a band of heroes supposed to do?